This verse has been killing me lately.
Here’s why:

I love myself more than God sometimes.
I may not say it.
I may not even consciously think it.
But my actions show otherwise.

I’ve been faced with multiple decisions in the past few weeks where I realized just how much I love myself more than God.

And if you think about your life, maybe you might see the same thing.
Maybe not though. Maybe you’re sanctified.
I’m not quite there yet. Still on my way.

All I know is that I need to take careful heed to myself; to daily put my heart in check and actively seek to love the Lord more than myself.

It really does change the way I do things.
I need to put God’s will before my own.
I need to put holiness before my sinful desires.
I need to put other people before myself.
I need to care for the orphan, the poor, and the needy in my own midst.
I need to have compassion on people who I wouldn’t normally have a heart for.
I need to see myself and others through God’s eyes.
I need Jesus Christ.

I hope for the next week, this verse eats at your conscience. I hope that it breaks your heart like it did mine. I hope that through this verse, Jesus can turn your heart from yourself to the Living God.

PJ

The hardest place for me to follow Jesus is in the coffee shop.

I had a crazy busy week a few weeks back. I spent an extended weekend (which I loved) at a youth retreat and then came home dawg tired. Something you need to know about youth retreats—they’re not vacations for the youth leaders. Kudos to any volunteer youth leader who keeps doing this. They sacrifice time, energy, money (or a chance to make extra), family time… the list goes on.

So, to keep this short, tongue in cheek—I had less to complain about than Johnny (a youth leader in his 40s) who was back to work the night we got home.

But still, I was dead tired… and upon arriving home, I had one day to recoup before I was back in the saddle.

Wednesday and Thursday flew by as there was so much to do (gotta love those days). It wasn’t until Friday where I realized that I was holding onto something—resentment… anger… a few other emotions that aren’t my best suit.

It wasn’t because I felt overworked (I got over that feeling long ago when I was in college). No. My beef was the fact that I had spent so much time serving people and had no one serving me… that was, until I was in the coffee shop.

I love Tim Hortons. I love the smell. I love the rush of a coffee at anytime in the day. I love the atmosphere. But what I love the most is that I don’t have to do jack all. Are you getting where I’m going here?

The hardest place for me to be a life long servant… is when I’m expecting people to be there for my benefit. And here’s what usually happens when I expect that:
-When someone butts in front of me, I want to shank them in the neck
-When someone takes waaaay to long to order, I want to kick them in the rear.
-When the girl behind the till has to make coffee because of the influx of customers, I begin think less of her.

For all I know, her dad may be dying of cancer. Her mom might have just left home because of an abusive relationship she’s in. The girl behind the till might be pregnant and her boy might have just left her because she chose to keep the baby. And all I can think about is getting what I want and getting out.

Lets look at this a different way.
Jesus Christ came to serve. He taught his disciples how to serve. Never, not even once, have I observed Him telling us that we can have a day off when it comes putting other people before ourselves.

Because you can’t be a Christian 40 hours a week.
You can’t work overtime in the Kingdom and you’re always called to a higher standard.

My challenge to you: know what you’ve signed up to do as a Christian and just giver.
Giver when it’s easy, Giver when it’s tough.

Because that’s how Jesus did it.

-PJ

“what a jerk” I thought as I paid for MY food, put it in MY bags and headed to MY car.

I then headed out to the parkinglot and began to cross at the crosswalk. It was then when the same man in a BMW honked, pointed and glared furiously at me. I was in HIS way.

Little did he know, it was MY crosswalk.

I then got angry, gave him the classic “Wong” stare where if he crossed me again, I’d put him in the ground.

Yep, this is my store and he got in my way.

On the way home, Jesus gave me a play by play of what just happened. The man driving the BMW was in the wrong, but the man walking the crosswalk was in the wrong, too; and all of us here feel so entitled to the cattle on a thousand hills that aren’t even ours.

Truth is, we don’t really own anything. We don’t deserve what we have. And what we do have is simply a gift from above. When we live as if life itself is a gift, we tend to treat people better. We’re thankful for what we have and don’t ask for things we don’t need.

And when we live as if we’re royalty; we get mad because we don’t have, murder those who get in our way and expect everything to be ours. We envy others. We treat them as if they are less than us and frankly, we forget who we really are.

If you’re not a christian today and you’re reading this… congradulations.. you’re off the hook today. Go ahead and point at people like me who give you another reason not to have faith.

But if you are, remember this… you belong to God.
Quit acting like you are entitled to anything. Quit acting like you’re better than anyone else. Quit thinking that you deserve anything in this life.
 
And if you’re a Chrsitian living in waterloo, I’ll pray for your salvation and a radical lifestyle change…
It’s a joke buddy, get over it!

Because the only thing you are entitled to is the cross that you picked up the moment you decided to follow after Christ.

Live in light of Christ and not your pride.

PJ

Recently, I’ve let myself get way to busy. Not even that “church busy”, that we try to justify cause we’re busy with ‘good’ things. Busy with work and thinking of it at home, moving, odd jobs, etc.

Do you ever take on too much in life? Where your tasks and chores take up the time that your relationships should hold?

Well I did, I felt very disconnected from my friends and family. Seeing them would ‘put me behind’ in my work. With our God being a relational God, he wasn’t in my sight line.. creating selfish ambition. (which won’t please your wives gentle men!)

When you wake up in the morning, what are your first few thoughts? If they aren’t about love and Christ.. we should probably get back to the basics.

I choose to not let my tasks dominate me. I choose to read and pray when I get up, to align my thoughts with God. So I have something to give my peers at work, and my wife at home and all else who i contact throughout the day.

what’s your daily routine? do you have one? would structure help you grow?

brotherly love,
c.g.

Recently, in big church, I was given the opportunity to speak—twice!

These moments come once every few months and I usually enjoy being able to have a conversation with the congregation from the stage.

Sunday was a mixed bag of feelings.

It’s not that I didn’t enjoy being able to talk about Jesus. I love to! I guess that’s why I chose to do that full-time. What made it feel weird was that when I was talking about the cage, the room felt so silent.

The analogy of the cage is the fact that there is a life that God wants for us and a ton of things will keep us from it. As I opened the cage, I read some of the things that are keeping us from living God’s intended life for all of us. Here’s a few that I read, but feel free to comment and suggest more.

Lost Connection- the fact that we’re far from God.
Purposelessness- feeling as if our lives have no meaning
Circumstances in life- life craps on us. Sometimes it may be our fault, sometimes it’s not.
Sexual Regrets- addictions and past experiences that wound us.
Guilt and Shame- the refusal of letting things go.
Fear of Man- the fear of what people may think of us.
Pride- I don’t need help
?- the beast in the basement we’re afraid to even name.

The Apostle John quoted Jesus speaking of light and darkness in his gospel. He said that people hate the light and don’t come into the light in fear that their deeds would be exposed. So true. Exposure will often come with a cost.

And maybe it’s a guy thing.

We like to act like we have it together.

We often think that if you don’t have it together, you’re a wuss.

And maybe if we come out and say that we suck at life, people will only point and laugh.

I think you can make the connection here.

That morning many people were able to make the connection. Cages were opened and they began to let Jesus deal with the crap in their lives.

But also, from the silence, I knew that just as many (and if not, more) were held back. Reservations can sometimes imobilize us. Silence can kill.

What is keeping you in the cage?

Do you have a friend who is in the same cage?

It’s good to talk.