Jay’s Note:

This is the first guest post from James Kelly. He’s a good friend and a great ministry partner in my life. You’ll be seeing him around here a lot more in the near future. Enjoy.

My wife and I were watching Batman Begins the other night and when we heard the quote “It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me” I asked her what she thought and she replied, “It’s totally contrary to the Gospel. It’s not what we do that defines us, it’s who Jesus is and what he has done for us.” Both Karen and I agree what we “do” is extremely important, but we believe what we do will come from who we are “underneath.”

I believe who we are underneath should define what we do. Far too often we ignore the deepest parts of who we are. Far too often we push who we are underneath the surface aside. What we believe. Why we believe it. Our deepest hurts. Our deepest joys. Our passions, our past, and our dreams. It’s these things that make us who we are underneath. It starts with who you are, and when you start dealing with that, you start doing.

A question I ask myself periodically is this: if I were to die tomorrow how would I want to be remembered (defined)? Currently, I would hope for four things: humble, disciplined, passionate, and a serving, inspiring leader. Some people tell me I’m passionate.  The others…not quit. But knowing I am weak in these areas help me focus on what I need to change.

How would someone define you today? Does that match up with how you desire to be defined? Take a minute and think about it.

Who you are underneath should ignite passion into action.

Deal with who you are right now. Write out a few ways you want to be defined and set out a realistic action plan to move towards becoming that person.  If it is humility, start reading about Jesus. Read books on humility and take actions to reflect on your prideful self. If it is discipline, find someone to hold you accountable to your time and stick to your plan! Whatever it is, you can’t just wait for life to change you. You need to change life!

If you think everyone would say great things about you and you believe you are exactly where you want to be, you have some serious pride issues and need to deal with those.  Its time to deal with “truly you” and then start watching your passions ignite into action.  Think it out. Write it out. Do it!

James

God has been breaking me about money lately. I had neglected a lot of my debt for a while, and it caught up with me. As Dave Ramsey says “You cannot outearn your stupidity“. I have experienced this first hand.

My wife and I are $30,000 in debt, and we don’t want our lives to be like a country song. We are mad! We are getting out of debt! The Bible says in Proverbs 6:

1 My child, if you have put up security for a friend’s debt
or agreed to guarantee the debt of a stranger—
2 if you have trapped yourself by your agreement
and are caught by what you said—
3 follow my advice and save yourself,
for you have placed yourself at your friend’s mercy.
Now swallow your pride;
go and beg to have your name erased.
4 Don’t put it off; do it now!
Don’t rest until you do.
5 Save yourself like a gazelle escaping from a hunter,
like a bird fleeing from a net.

Do you know what this means? If you get in debt, bust your butt and get mad!!! Get out of debt!!! I’m putting this out for 2 reasons:

1. You can officially call me a loser if you don’t read a blog post that is titled I’M DEBT FREE!!!! Now that the SexRev has so many readers, I have over 11,000 accountability partners!

2. If you are in debt, I want to encourage you to put together a plan and GET OUT!!!

So, share! What are your goals, dreams, aspirations? Believe me, no debt will enhance their possibilities. Are you in debt? Check out these two websites:

DaveRamsey.com
IWasBrokeNowImNot.com

Dave Ramsey and Joseph Sangle both offer God’s advice on money. You can purchase resources, write out a quickie budget, build an emergency fund, put together a debt snowball, and kick it in gear baby!!!

I love you guys.

Aaron

Hey Guys, 

I came across an amazing blog post this week and wanted to share it with you all.

Aaron.

Don’t Wait on It. Create It.

by Clayton King

Every pastor, every leader, every parent and spouse struggles with finding time in their lives for reflection, rest, fun, and prayer.  I call it MARGIN.

Here is where we go wrong: WE WAIT ON IT TO COME TO US.

The problem is, it NEVER comes to us.  We operate under a false assumption that one day soon, we will be completely caught up with work and ministry, all the emails will be sent and all the phone calls will be returned.  Once that day comes, when there are no emergencies to deal with or last-minute staff meetings, then…then the margin will magically appear and we will magically relax, refresh, and re-connect with God, our kids, our mate.  This will never ever happen, no matter how many times you wish upon a star.

DON’T WAIT on margin.  You must CREATE margin.

The rules of the game, if you are a leader of any sort, is that you DESTROY margin.  It is your nature.  You are constantly doing something, thinking about an issue, creating a sermon series, pre-writing the next book, rehearsing the next staff meeting.  By your very nature you cannot stand to have free, uncluttered time just sitting around.  You want to fill it up with productivity.

This mindset will eventually kill you if you don’t learn to create space in your life.  Don’t try to change who you are.  Continue leading and pastoring and teaching and serving, but pre-empt the future destruction by planning to be faithfully leading 40 years from now.  Do that by creating spaces in your daily routine where you disconnect from EVERYTHING and sit still and quiet.  Turn off your phone for 10 minutes.  Read one verse out loud from Proverbs.  Close your eyes in your office or study and center your thoughts on Christ, the cross, your wife, or your precious children.

Utilize your assistant or secretary by telling them that you are not to be disturbed for a short time.  If you don’t have that luxury, just disappear to a quiet place…a coffee shop or a public park or the grove of trees in your backyard.  Once you’re there, breathe deep, talk to Jesus, sing a worship chorus or an old hymn, or just be still and quiet.  Do what calms you down, find what you enjoy, and do it religiously.  Don’t ask permission.  Just do it.

You will NEVER create big margin in your life (for vacations or sabbaticals) until you can create small ones on a regular basis.

(not actually Printer Dude)

Meet Printer Dude.
He installs printers and cartridges for me and my office.
He’s a raging alcoholic in complete denial.
He’s a soon-to-be twice divorcee.
His kids live between two worlds. “They’re okay with it though, they know dad loves them.”
Sure.

His first divorce cost him over $500,000, including the house in Oakville.  He expects the secord divorce will cost roughly the same.  He’s cheated on both wives, many times.  Of course, he isn’t to blame.

“I can’t control myself.  I’m different.  It’s hard in sales, you know?”

And besides, his wife IS 29- she’s getting a little old for his liking.

“You see Jay, women are like carpets- you need to throw them out when they get old and worn out.”

And so, for Printer Dude, it’s time for a new carpet.  I also think it’s time for a new heart.

Pray for his wife, his ex-wife, and his future wife. Pray for his kids, that they’d see Jesus despite the selfishness of their father. Pray for Printer Dude’s life, that he’s allow God to take control and give him a new life of love in Jesus.

And become a better man, one who can bear witness to the thing of Christ.

For that is our calling, men.

Jay

Satan hates marriages, and he hates purity. I you may believe I am thinking too much about Satan, but me and my newlywed wife have identified areas recently that Satan is actually trying to use to destroy our marriage. They are little things that can turn into monsters while we are married.

I had something really wierd happen a couple days ago. I was listening to a podcast at work by Craig Groeschel, and the series was on the spirit world, and the message was about demons. All of a sudden I felt really dark, and it still creeps me out, and I don`t know what it was. I felt something wasn`t right. I thought, “That`s just my body being wierd”, but as the message went on I just felt darker. So I decided to be wierder, and I said outloud as strongly as I could “In the name of Jesus leave me alone”. And the feeling was gone. I felt a huge relief, and strangely enough almost exhausted.

I don`t know what that was for sure, but I know that Satan is trying to attack my marriage and blow it apart. He wants nothing more than to have an affair and dump Tabitha`s heart to the curb. He wants me to not be her spiritual leader. Satan wants me to put work first before Tabitha (read “Choosing To Cheat” by Andy Stanley) and start ignoring her and our future kids.

Here’s the thing; this post isn’t about me, it’s for US:

Satan wants to destroy your purity, and unfortunately he’s doing a good job.

Stop looking at the sunshine girl in that newspaper.
Stop checking out the joggers running past your house every morning.
Stop looking at magazine ads with models in bras.
Stop looking at the NFL cheerleaders.

If you noticed, these are all less obvious attempts at Satan to get in on your purity. Notice that I didn`t say:

stop masturbating
stop looking at porn
stop cheating on your wife
stop having sex with strangers

Those are much more obvious. So stay mindful. God is on your side, and I`ve read the back of the book: He wins. So fight with your hearts, stay mindful, stay focused.

Aaron